In My Past

After Years


I saw you today, I saw you in a grocery store.
Shopping on Saturday like always. Decades past
and I don't mean anything. Another
person among the living.

I saw you today, pricing things like
always. So content, I don't
know how you do it. I used to mean
something to you. Now it's different.
High school was the last time I spoke to you,
last time I was an adolescent, the last time
we were a family. High school went by fast.
Memories, laughter, tears and excitement.
In the past, but not forgotten.

I saw you today, memories of getting yelled at
and awkward conversations. Birds, bees, and
curfew. Loss of Jessica, loss of my best friend.
A gain of a new soon followed. Cherished memories, of
my relationship with my father and forgotten friendships.

I saw you today, and I remembered. Laughs and tears.
Preserved memories back in my brain
stored for those moments when I miss them.

My name is.. Version 2

My name is Katherine.
Today my name was drowsy.
Yesterday my name was vexation.
Tomorrow my name will be contentment.
Secretly my name is emotional.
My name once was rebel without a cause.
My childhood name was unconcerned.

My Name Is...

My real name is Katherine.
Today my name was frustration.
Yesterday my name was busy body.
Tomorrow my name will be exhausted.
Secretly I know my name is dazed and confused.
My name once was shrimp.
I was once known as the quiet new girl.
My childhood name was rebel without a cause.
My name is forever and will be just me.

Image #1 Leaving It In The Past

Leaving the bad behind and starting something new. Not being told that it's all your fault. Being free and happy is what is in store for me. Goodbye to all the tears and saddness. Looking forward to what is going to happen in the future. The unknown, a mystery, something exciting. To be so nervous but yet to be so relieved. Everyday troubles is all I have to deal with. No more drama except what I cause. Only my problems and frustrations is all I have to look forward to. To be a bit scared is reasonable and normal. But to leave all that I have known behind should be a bit sad, shouldn't it? I think so, I've been bouncing this thought back and forth in my head but I am at a stand still. A person standing on snow covered train tracks. No longer at a crossroads with myself and the world. Leaving everything bad in my past behind and walking the line forward. Only me and my shoes to carry me. To carry me to where I will find my new home. A new home, anywhere but where I was. I may seem alone, and at best I guess I am but I dont see it as a bad thing. I have never been alone, never been given the chance to think for myself by myself. Relief, clarity and hope is all I have left and that'll get me through.

Picture #4 Where I'd Like To Be

Lonely tree in the middle of no where. Like that tree on Range Road to Marysville. Or the tree in Winnie the Pooh. Piglet's home far far away where he scary things come to get him. A tree I would like to sit under one day. The wiggled branches might be scary at night, I wouldn't like to be around when the sun sets and everything goes dark. I am a bit of a scardy cat like Piglet. A tree full of wonder with the sky hanging low. I wonder what it would be like to lay in the grass and stare up to the full clouded blue sky. A place of enchanting wonder and peace. It's a place I would like to visit. A place that could be full of laughter and character, I know a lot of people who would run free in the green grass and breath in some fresh air. A place of thought and a place to be away from stress and crowded city streets. A place where clarity is common and unlimited. An open field with a single mysterious tree. A tree I would be afraid of, a tree that I would admire and a tree that I would like to climb. It's a place inside my head where I am alone and at peace. Is it real, or just a picture I am not sure.

The Right to Choose

I feel strongly about being your own person. I get upset when people try to force you to become something other than who you are. I take offence to someone saying that I am wrong when it comes to my opinion. No one has the right to tell me I am wrong when it comes to my own opinion, and no one can tell me that I am not wearing the right clothes. When it comes to parents, yes they do have a say in what you wear. Well that's if your parents actually do care that much to argue about your clothes, but I do believe that people have the right to choose. It upsets me especially when it comes to religion. My new step father is very religious and I am not religious at all. (I am kind of, sort of in a way). Anyways, he was talking one night to my little sister telling her all of the things that he's going to change in our house and that our family is going to be a "christian home." I was like HOLD THE PHONE. Let me just say, I let my opinion be heard. I care very deeply about my opinion and my rights. Till the day I die I will make sure my voice is heard.

I Remember

I remember the way that my family was a whole.
I remember the way we would all go on camping trips together.
I remember being little in my parents arms.
I remember being so scared and alone.
I remember him leaving and him leaving us behind.
I remember her turning her back on us and being selfish.
I remember taking charge and being the parent.
I remember her levaing and him coming back to us.
I remember a new beginning and a fresh start.
I remember better times and new laughs.
I remember dark times when things started to get worse.
I remember getting yelled at and always being wrong.
I remember when I couldn't take anymore and left him behind.
I remember walking out and not going home.
I remember him coming to find me and being strong.
I remember facing him and looking him in the eye.
He says I hurt him really bad, and that he doesn't want to see me again. But if he only knew that he hurt me worse. All I knew was that I didn't want to see him for a long time and so far I've kept that promise to myself.
I remember waking up happier then I have been in a long time.
I remember that feeling lasting and overall being happy.
I remember when my sister came and attacked me.
I remember how much I cried and how bad I felt.
I remember my anger catching up to me and the feeling of regret washing away.
I remember being tired of dealing with his abuse and now I am happier. Happier that I've been in a long time.
I look forward to being happy from now on and not being talked down to and blamed for everything.
I am still a child, but I have seen and learned so much already.
I remember so much from my past, so much that I am sure it would scare most people.
I have been through so much, but I am not done living yet.

Comments to Friends :]

To Christina:
You are deffinately one of a kind christina! Hahah, your poems awesome. It made me laugh, you did a great job of describing yourself to the "t."

To Renee:
I love it! It is you exactly, it may have only taken you minutes to come up with it but it is genuis. You know yourself really well, and it came out in your poem :]

Full Moon Me

Full Moon Me

I’m a teal star, the color of earth

And water that shines bright in the sky.

As graceful as any ballerina I am,

But fall flat on my face I do too.

I am the sweet song of life, and love lessons.

I am the number ten, perfect I may seem

But perfect I am not.

I am the loveseat in the living room,

With a big heart and devoted.

I am mint chocolate chip ice-cream,

Sweet like chocolate and stubborn like mint.

I am a dormant volcano, tranquil at most times

But I can erupt at any given moment.

I am an oak tree, I can take a lot

And I am very strong willed.

I am afraid of loss,

Mostly of those I care for most.

Behind my eyes you can find

Hope, hope of a better future.

I am Dr. Pepper, with my twenty-seven

Different flavors of emotion.

Words

Nouns:
Frijolillo - A small tree or shrub having innate leaves poisonous to livestock
Cartonful - the quantity contained in a carton
Ravehook - A tool, hooked at the end, for enlarging or clearing seams for the reception of oakum.
supersensualism - beyond the range of the senses.
nontemporariness - lasting, existing, serving, or effective for a time only

Verbs:
alphabetize - to put in alphabetical order
delineate - to trace the outline of; sketch or trace in outline
suffuse - to overspread with or as with a liquid, color, etc.
defoliating - to strip or destroy
disgorged - to surrender or yield; vomit

Adjectives:
Unchained - free;
Unvaried - characterized by or exhibiting variety; various; diverse
structureless - free form, not confined
Pudgy - short and fat or thick
supersaturated - to increase the concentration of (a solution) beyond saturation; saturate abnormally.

Hate Poem
Julie Sheehan
I hate you truly.
Truly I do.
Everything about me hates everything about you.
The flick of my wrist hates you.
The way I hold my pencil hates you.
The sound made by my tiniest bones were they trapped in the jaws of a moray eel hates you.
Each corpuscle singing in its capillary hates you.
Look out! Fore! I hate you.

The blue-green jewel of sock lint I’m digging from under by third toenail, left foot, hates you.
The history of this keychain hates you.
My sigh in the background as you explain relational databases hates you.
The goldfish of my genius hates you.
My aorta hates you.
Also my ancestors.

A closed window is both a closed window and an obvious symbol of how I hate you.
My voice curt as a hairshirt: hate.
My hesitation when you invite me for a drive: hate.
My pleasant “good morning”: hate.
You know how when I’m sleepy I nuzzle my head under your arm? Hate.
The whites of my target-eyes articulate hate.
My wit practices it.
My breasts relaxing in their holster from morning to night hate you.
Layers of hate, a parfait.
Hours after our latest row, brandishing the sharp glee of hate,I dissect you cell by cell, so that I might hate each one individually and at leisure.
My lungs, duplicitous twins, expand with the utter validity of my hate, which can never have enough of you,Breathlessly, like two idealists in a broken submarine

My Life As of Now

How to describe my life right now?
Well you could say it is a bit stressful. Okay, more then just a 'bit' stressful, it's a ginormous mess. When I get stressed out I get tongue tied and I can't sleep. It's horrible to say the least. All of this drama that's been going on in my life started the Sunday before exams. (I know perfect time right). Well, it all started when my boyfriend's parents were being "not so nice," and kicked him out. It was this whole fiasco to sum it all up. I guess it all worked out for the best in the end. I found him a place to stay and now I get to see him more then I used to. But, now I have this pickle of a situation on my hands. My father is being a bit uncooperative.

On the up side, I recently got a job. Good for me right? No, wrong you are. My father had to go throw that down the tubes. He decided to take my car away for two days. Only good thing is that I didn't get called in during that time. Anyone whose known me for a while would know the situation that my parents are in. They've been divorced for six years now and the whole court situation is still being dragged out. I currently decided to move in with my Mother but now my father is deciding to treat me horrible because I don't want to live under his roof anymore. Currently you could say my life is full of guilt trips and unfair blame. But hopefully soon it'll be back to the normal amount of crazy that I am used to.